About The Beer
Brewery: Funk Estate – Out of Wellington
Style: Stout with a bunch of exciting extra stuff in it
Standard Drinks: 3.15 standards in a 500ml bottle
What They Say About It
“Brewed with a myriad of aphrodisiacs to make this silky-smooth imperial stout just that little bit sexier. Share this bottle with someone you love.”
What I Say About It
Slipping off my burgundy silk robe I slide under leopard print sheets as my water bed jiggles making my bare man breasts do the same. I stare intensely at the bottle of Super Afro-Disiac lying next to me in bed, whispering to it “there’s no life guard on duty when you drown in these brown eyes”. I clap to turn on my stereo and slowly close my eyes as Lionel Richie’s dulcet tones serenade me. “Hello, is it me you’re looking for?”
The lights go dim…
Ok that was weird. But this beer will do that to you.
I find myself making loud noises of enjoyment as I slowly sip with whipped cream-like brown foam collecting on my top lip. I glance at my girlfriend with wide eyes as all manner of delicious, sexy flavours and aromas seduce me.
I gently and slowly insert my… nose into the glass and slowly inhale the gorgeous aromas. Roasty coffee and melted dark chocolate is what I get followed by a slightly sweet smelling vanilla scent.
Wrapping my lips around the… bottle and drinking down I’m greeted with an exceedingly smooth, well-rounded taste. At first it’s hard to make out the individual flavours, but as the beer warms a little it opens up to me. I get bitter dark chocolate, roasty coffee, rounded out by faint but fruity fig sweetness. As I sip away I get hints of a really delicious vanilla flavour, followed by a nutty earthiness which may be the mysterious maca root the Funk Estate chaps say they chucked in there. But then again maybe I’m just imagining that because I read it on the label.
This beers ingredients also include honey which I couldn’t quite detect, but I think perhaps it works in the background softening the edges of all the other ingredients and helping make this perhaps the smoothest and tastiest imperial stout I have ever supped.
To sum it all up; this is an alluring and mouth-watering beverage that you absolutely have to try. Cheers to Funk Estate.
10 Words Or Less
Delicious, complex, sexy, smooth, stout to share wit yo gurl xoxo
Anything with Lexington Steele in it. No I’m kidding don’t google that. I reckon this complex, interesting and delightful Brew will go down well with a film equally as amazing and afriodisiacy (not sure that’s a word). The perfect movie is “Before Sunrise” Richard Linklater’s masterful look at modern romance. This is a film that is complex and interesting while remaining unabashedly romantic and sweet; ensuring that you and your loved one will share many moments of locked eyes, shy smiles and whispering of sweet nothings while watching. Sharing this beer and film with a special someone or even that random you met on Tinder yesterday will only end in one, thing so make sure you’re all lubed up and ready before doing so. Uh huh.
Sorry for the creepy, weird review I was drinking Super Afro-Disiac while I wrote and things got a little strange. Is this beer some sort of potion?